A couple of years ago I began to look at my love life, as a single man, through the lens of a single father. I don’t actually have any flesh and blood children on this earth, but as I had been delving deeper into the work of reclaiming and healing the disowned, traumatized, vulnerable (and beautiful) parts of myself, it gradually became more and more clear that there was something, or someone, very sacred within me - my inner child - who I was taking along into each and every romantic interaction I explored. That vulnerable, pure and sacred child required my conscious attention, empathy, protection and mentorship in all the ways an external, flesh-and-blood child would, and learning to listen to and honour his wisdom has allowed me to receive the riches that any profound parent-child relationship can give birth to.

Today I got an email from a woman that lit a little fire in me: In her message, this stranger asked me how, since I have such a clear and obvious passion for working with feeling and emotion (which she categorized as feminine), do I balance that with strong, masculine energy?

A little context: This woman had read a some of my work, and through that reading understood that I have spent many years diving deep into the study and practice of emotional processing, shadow work etc. 

Courtship is a funny word, and not one that many of us consciously use to describe the process of winning someone's attention, interest and affection.

There's probably a good reason for that: It's kind of gross. Implicit in the whole notion of courtship is an agenda - an attachment to making someone become attracted to you, and often a kind of manipulation toward this end. 

I was standing alone in my bedroom balling my eyes out, on the phone to a friend and mentor. On the other end of the line, there was a voice shouting every expletive imaginable, expressing pure, fiery anger and disgust. Not at me, though.

In the spirit of the season, today's vlog is all about the most important intimate relationship any of us can cultivate - the one we have with ourselves! Conscious single hood is a vital part of most of our journeys at one point, and today's vlog explores the importance of embracing it as such. Enjoy!

Emotional processing is absolutely fundamental.

Let me qualify that statement: I learned at a very young age that certain feelings were not okay to express, to take ownership of or maybe even to have - and that if I did express them, I would be either rejected or punished because of it.

So I developed a lot of unhealthy ways of hiding and contorting my feelings. I became a master repressor - automatically burying my feelings before I even fully recognized them consciously.

Today's post is a VLOG I recently made that I'm very excited to share with you.

In this video I share my experience with and an approach that has been a complete game changer for me in the realm of emotional processing - turning towards and integrating all of the feelings that traditionally I would have turned away from.

Today's post is my first Vlog (!!) - and as the title suggest, it's all about shame. I share some of my personal experiences and perspective on carrying the burden of toxic shame, and how we can transform our shame and step into our power by turning towards it and taking ownership of it.