Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well and taking good care of yourself during these unprecedented times we are moving through together.

This winter I began hosting local group events in Vancouver, BC, focused on sharing and supporting one another on the journey to living in a deeply authentic, heart centred way (and navigating the challenges that arise on this path). As is the case nearly everywhere at this point, group events are on hold for the time being, the positive side of this being that I am going to be offering the same experience online, meaning anyone anywhere can attend.

Vulnerability can act like an edge that cuts two ways: At times it can be an elixir that unlocks doors to extraordinary levels of connection, and in other situations it can slam doors shut so hard it leaves us reeling, in a state of shock or worse - bruised and battered in the most tender place. When we don’t know how to take care of our vulnerability, the latter is often our experience - bringing it out into the open is synonymous with rejection and wounding. That’s why we so often simply don’t - we’ve learned at the deepest level to simply not be that honest, to not get that real, to the point that it might take a massive excavation to break up the frozen feelings and go there even if we wanted to.

After all, even with all the flowery stuff self help gurus speak about the virtues of vulnerability, actually going there carries the very real potential of leaving us exposed to injury. When it’s done right, opening up our vulnerability is a pathway to heaven on earth, but damn it can hurt when things don’t flow.

Today that’s exactly what I want to talk about.

Last year I found myself in the position of supporting a very close friend who was going through an incredibly difficult and dark period in their life. I was their primary support person through this challenging chapter, and as such I would speak with them on the phone at length every day, sometimes several times. They were struggling with a serious illness, the fallout of a relationship gone awry, and ongoing financial difficulties. There was no question that I wanted to be there to support my friend in any way that I could, but as their situation progressively deteriorated, and they increasingly needed my help, I found myself beginning to unravel - my own psychological and physical health began to fold under the weight of my friend’s situation. I was taking on their trauma.

A couple of years ago I began to look at my love life, as a single man, through the lens of a single father. I don’t actually have any flesh and blood children on this earth, but as I had been delving deeper into the work of reclaiming and healing the disowned, traumatized, vulnerable (and beautiful) parts of myself, it gradually became more and more clear that there was something, or someone, very sacred within me - my inner child - who I was taking along into each and every romantic interaction I explored. That vulnerable, pure and sacred child required my conscious attention, empathy, protection and mentorship in all the ways an external, flesh-and-blood child would, and learning to listen to and honour his wisdom has allowed me to receive the riches that any profound parent-child relationship can give birth to.

Today I got an email from a woman that lit a little fire in me: In her message, this stranger asked me how, since I have such a clear and obvious passion for working with feeling and emotion (which she categorized as feminine), do I balance that with strong, masculine energy?

A little context: This woman had read a some of my work, and through that reading understood that I have spent many years diving deep into the study and practice of emotional processing, shadow work etc. 

Courtship is a funny word, and not one that many of us consciously use to describe the process of winning someone's attention, interest and affection.

There's probably a good reason for that: It's kind of gross. Implicit in the whole notion of courtship is an agenda - an attachment to making someone become attracted to you, and often a kind of manipulation toward this end. 

I was standing alone in my bedroom balling my eyes out, on the phone to a friend and mentor. On the other end of the line, there was a voice shouting every expletive imaginable, expressing pure, fiery anger and disgust. Not at me, though.

In the spirit of the season, today's vlog is all about the most important intimate relationship any of us can cultivate - the one we have with ourselves! Conscious single hood is a vital part of most of our journeys at one point, and today's vlog explores the importance of embracing it as such. Enjoy!